Wednesday, December 23 Day 53 without jerome lee.
DAY 1/60 without contact.
~i failed again. hias.~

i suddenly miss you so much.
i miss your hugs.
miss your kisses.
miss the way i meant the world to you.
you told me you'd prove to me what eternal love is.
you'll be the one to show me that love can really last forever.
i believed you could and you would.
but where are you now?
you left me.
you no longer love me.
i already mean nothing to you.
your msg to me, even just to check if i received your previous message,
stirred my heart all over again for that moment.
there is still this hope in me that you'd reply me.
but yet, i also dont wish to as i know it'll make things harder for me to forget you.
i've got to let you go.
i've got to forget you.
i dont want to be a nuisance to you.
hias...

how i wish,
i used a pencil to write our relationship,
whereby mistakes can be easily erased, leaving no mark.
unlike using a pen,
when you make a mistake,
no matter whether you cancel it or use correction tape over it,
its still there.
where you just try to cover up,
and pretend that no mistakes were done.
but its a fact, it's still there,
beneathe those cancellations, beneath that layer of correction tape.

i used a pen to write this relationship.
i used a pen to write my mistakes.
with great force and pressure that no matter what,
it still exists.

i should never have taken break up lightly.
i should have always kept firm that i really loved you so much
that not even a breakup will solve any heartbreaks you gave me
that no matter what heartbreaks you gave me were worth it.
i should have always cherished you.
should have thought in your shoes and understood you.
i've never really let you go,
but you already did.
you snapped that string between us,
that you've flown further and further away from me..